The word ‘Meditating’ is one of those things that has picked up all kinds of baggage. It seems to be done only by people who hug trees, or drink only carrot juice - do you think? I’ve observed some interesting resistance to meditating - as soon as I mention it as something that would help, the eyes glaze, the uncomfortable shift in the seat and the “oh no, she’s not going to try to make me do something weird, is she?”

I’d like to be able to say I meditate regularly, I don’t. I’d like to say, I get up at the crack of dawn and chant all sorts of interesting sounds in perfect alignment with the sunrise, I don’t. The first thing I do when I get up (after going to the bathroom), is put on my dressing-gown, make myself a cup of tea (the one with caffeine, and is drunk with milk), wander through to my computer, and check my emails. Depending on the commitments of the day, sometimes, I stay there for a few hours (perhaps temporarily leaving to find some socks, to bring the life into my feet) completely absorbed, and then decide it’s time to go shower. After all, it is nearly lunchtime.

Sometimes, months can pass, and I haven’t done any meditation. It’s something I need to work on. Discipline and routine is not my thing, I like ’surprise’! I like not having to do something, just because I did it yesterday, or the day before, I like to ‘go with the flow’. I was once told by a spiritual mentor, that I need to apply some discipline to my practise. Maybe.

However, and here’s the big BUT that you probably know is coming because why would I talk about why I don’t care to meditate, and then just say ’see ya’? You’re right.

When I do make the time to meditate, and my motivation is most likely to be because I have this nagging person in my head saying “the quality and depth of your work with people will suffer if you are always working in the head and the heart, and not beyond, blah, blah.” So, I go find a cushion, take myself off into a quiet room, and just sit. Cushion on floor, rear-end on cushion, I cross my legs. l close my eyes. I take a few deep breaths in and out, like I would on a frosty morning. Then, I just relax my breath, and focus on the breath. I feel it come in, and expand my chest. I feel my body lift to meet the air, and then I let it go. I repeat this, until I open my eyes and know it’s time to stop. I get up, put the cushion back, and get back to work.

Something changes at that moment of quiet. Thoughts drop away, my body releases tension. I am clear. I have clarity. I don’t feel anything other than what it might be like, to be clean sheet of paper. Everything falls into its place, afresh, ready for me to start again. After that moment, I feel like I am more the light through the tunnel, than the tunnel itself. I wonder “why on earth I don’t I do this more regularly?”. This feeling of calm stays until something captures my mind, or emotions, and then I’m back in the body as if a bolt of lightning went up the through the base of my chair…and then I forget…again.

The most powerful meditations I have done have been ‘Guided’ on CD. They allow me to let go of the process, and go some place deeper not of the physical realm. Here, healing takes place. Here, you can experience a sense of stillness and joy within that you did not know existed.

I feel that it is only in this place of stillness of the present moment, that change can occur. When our mind is busy working, we create more of the same. We spend our time reflecting on what we had yesterday, or what we want tomorrow based on what we have or don’t have now, and as such, we create exactly what our lives have been before. When you invite this ’space’ into you life, you invite a vast unlimited potential of everything that could be. I don’t know this, I can’t explain it. I feel it, I sense it, I experience it - if only for a brief moment. You can’t take my word for it either, you won’t benefit. You can only try it for yourself.

Oh, and I’m still working on my ‘discipline’, and I’m at peace with that…

Tags: Meditation