Archive for the ‘Meditation’ Category

6
Apr

How meditation can bring you change

   Posted by: Louise   in Meditation

The word ‘Meditating’ is one of those things that has picked up all kinds of baggage. It seems to be done only by people who hug trees, or drink only carrot juice - do you think? I’ve observed some interesting resistance to meditating - as soon as I mention it as something that would help, the eyes glaze, the uncomfortable shift in the seat and the “oh no, she’s not going to try to make me do something weird, is she?”

I’d like to be able to say I meditate regularly, I don’t. I’d like to say, I get up at the crack of dawn and chant all sorts of interesting sounds in perfect alignment with the sunrise, I don’t. The first thing I do when I get up (after going to the bathroom), is put on my dressing-gown, make myself a cup of tea (the one with caffeine, and is drunk with milk), wander through to my computer, and check my emails. Depending on the commitments of the day, sometimes, I stay there for a few hours (perhaps temporarily leaving to find some socks, to bring the life into my feet) completely absorbed, and then decide it’s time to go shower. After all, it is nearly lunchtime.

Sometimes, months can pass, and I haven’t done any meditation. It’s something I need to work on. Discipline and routine is not my thing, I like ’surprise’! I like not having to do something, just because I did it yesterday, or the day before, I like to ‘go with the flow’. I was once told by a spiritual mentor, that I need to apply some discipline to my practise. Maybe.

However, and here’s the big BUT that you probably know is coming because why would I talk about why I don’t care to meditate, and then just say ’see ya’? You’re right.

When I do make the time to meditate, and my motivation is most likely to be because I have this nagging person in my head saying “the quality and depth of your work with people will suffer if you are always working in the head and the heart, and not beyond, blah, blah.” So, I go find a cushion, take myself off into a quiet room, and just sit. Cushion on floor, rear-end on cushion, I cross my legs. l close my eyes. I take a few deep breaths in and out, like I would on a frosty morning. Then, I just relax my breath, and focus on the breath. I feel it come in, and expand my chest. I feel my body lift to meet the air, and then I let it go. I repeat this, until I open my eyes and know it’s time to stop. I get up, put the cushion back, and get back to work.

Something changes at that moment of quiet. Thoughts drop away, my body releases tension. I am clear. I have clarity. I don’t feel anything other than what it might be like, to be clean sheet of paper. Everything falls into its place, afresh, ready for me to start again. After that moment, I feel like I am more the light through the tunnel, than the tunnel itself. I wonder “why on earth I don’t I do this more regularly?”. This feeling of calm stays until something captures my mind, or emotions, and then I’m back in the body as if a bolt of lightning went up the through the base of my chair…and then I forget…again.

The most powerful meditations I have done have been ‘Guided’ on CD. They allow me to let go of the process, and go some place deeper not of the physical realm. Here, healing takes place. Here, you can experience a sense of stillness and joy within that you did not know existed.

I feel that it is only in this place of stillness of the present moment, that change can occur. When our mind is busy working, we create more of the same. We spend our time reflecting on what we had yesterday, or what we want tomorrow based on what we have or don’t have now, and as such, we create exactly what our lives have been before. When you invite this ’space’ into you life, you invite a vast unlimited potential of everything that could be. I don’t know this, I can’t explain it. I feel it, I sense it, I experience it - if only for a brief moment. You can’t take my word for it either, you won’t benefit. You can only try it for yourself.

Oh, and I’m still working on my ‘discipline’, and I’m at peace with that…

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12
Mar

Early Experiences #2

   Posted by: Louise   in Meditation

More from the early journal entries…and a resolution on the frog!

Doing my meditation is starting to feel addictive. Maybe its those neural pathways developing! I’m working from home over these two days so didn’t have to get out of bed so early. I’m finding that I’m taking 30-40 minutes now. I am feeling the benefit. I am certainly feeling calmer and at peace with myself.

I shouldn’t judge myself for my down-falls – its part of human nature – our emotions and intelligence. In spirit, we are all perfect, every one of us, and being in touch with my spirit puts it all into perspective.

I love my meadow, it s a wonderful place. Today, I just sat and Suzanne came and sat next to me. I looked side-ways to get a look at her face and she turned to face me and she had an ugly grin and I felt afraid. I immediately asked her to leave. I told myself that I was battling with my own fears. 

At the end of the day, I’m not trying to ‘meet’ anyone – that’s probably the trouble – I’m not really setting any intentions around what I’m doing and what my boundaries are and giving the message that it’s an open party! Sometimes, I’m not sure who’s doing the talking and I get words in my head that seem ridiculous. For example, once I asked “who am I?”, and the answer was “a saint”. I said “saint who” and the answer was “saint louis” – yea right! Go right now and get a straight jacket and I’ll check myself in. I’m only putting this in, so you know that things like this do happen, and yes, you’ll think you’re nuts. 

Well, in search of truth I also checked out the frog from the other day. According to shamanism, the frog is a symbol of transformation, a totem of metamorphosis. It symbolizes personal power and reminds us not to get bogged down in day-to-day living. Okay, maybe it wasn’t so daft after all, to meet a little froggy.

After the frog visitation, I started on a mission of finding out all I could on shamanism. I’m thinking of buying some drumming music and start some chanting. I wonder to myself “how long do I have to go on searching – maybe the answers are already here”. The subject is so vast and endless – I went to a forum on the net where people under the banner of spirituality came together. There were people referring to tarot, paganism, wicca, meditation, mediumship, past life regression – there are so many different ways and channels – I want to learn about them all.

How can I follow a path, where there are so many options? I will keep up with the meditation – I know people would say – whatever is right for you, is right – I know this is right, but how do I know what is right?!! I am not lost, but the more I question, the more there seems to be to find out.

In needed of some stability, I write out what I know at this point. I find this a useful thing to do.

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12
Mar

Early Experiences #1

   Posted by: Louise   in Meditation

I’ve been reviewing my Journals and other writings when I was first experimenting with meditation. I thought I would post here, unchanged. I chuckle as I read my worries that people might think I was going to ‘turn medium’. What does that tell you about social conditioning? We are so entertaining as people…

Here it is:

I enjoy sitting in my little room, it has become my sacred place for relaxation and contemplation. There’s hardly anything in here, a box of records, a makeshift wardrobe, a heater, a table with all of my bits, and on the floor, my piles of books and CD’s. I must make this look more like a spiritual haven. But for now, it suits me fine. I listened to the meditation CD and started taking deep breathes so that as air filled my lungs, my chest expanded, my stomach went in, and as I breathed out, the reverse was true. The birds singing on the CD made me wish that I was outside and I made a mental note to meditate outside in the summer. I became relaxed very quickly. It’s almost as if I’m not so aware of my body. I feel more like I am just my friend – a feeling of detachment. I felt drawn to my meadow and I visualize opening the big white door which has flowers around the edges.  As soon as I have entered, there is a small frog on the floor. I say to myself “don’t be silly, you can’t have a frog in your meditation”. I pick it up and ask if it has anything to say to me. The frog tells me that ‘I am blessed’ – look, I don’t see its lips move or anything, it’s like we are talking telepathically. So, at the same time of achieving my meditative estate, I am also questioning what is happening.  
I continue walking into the meadow. I see myself laughing and swirling in slow motion. I feel so alive and happy – it’s like I am watching myself. When I am in my meadow, I am always dressed in white, and my hair is blond, like when I was a child, not the brown it is now. I am feeling the emotion of peace and elation and as such, I can feel tears welling up in my eyes.

I sit by the water’s edge and feel the grass through my fingers, the firmness of the ground and acknowledge the sun on my face. 
I feel that relaxed that I decide to ask for my spirit guide or my guardian angel to appear. The name Suzanne comes to me again from my right – I am somewhat disappointed because I think I am making this name up again – not that I know anyone called Suzanne and know that I should trust the process. I ask that she comes and sits next to me, so that I can feel her presence. My hands feel very heavy, and again, I feel a sense of warmth in my chest. I’m not sure what to ask for as I am just grateful that I can feel something so we just sit there for a moment.

I ask that maybe I could see her if I open my eyes and a question comes into my head of whether I would be afraid – I say no, but then immediately think  - well I think I would a little. 
I slowly open my eyes, peaking as much as I could without fully committing to who or what might be out there. Nothing. Zilch. Not a single person or soul in sight. I slowly became more aware of my physical surroundings and start to write in my journal.

By the time I have written to this point, I am still feeling a sense of calm, but the feeling of extreme love has gone. Whatever happened, it was worth it, for that moment. I wonder to myself whether she is only supposed to exist in my mind. At this point in time, I must say, I do feel very blessed. I hope people don’t think I’m trying to become a medium!

I write that was a truly beautiful experience. I think I shall go and look up more meditation experiences, although the meadow seems to work for me. After feeling so drained last week, I will put my book down and close myself down like I was taught at the classes.

I am standing at the top of the stairway, the lamp is burning bright, and I turn it down. I slowly walk 10 steps down, knowing that each one, brings me back to the ground.

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