What’s the meaning of life?

Why on earth have I got this need to find out what’s going on here?

I get to the point where I feel I am getting closer to what I am here to do, then it just seems to suddenly collapse in front of me, before my very eyes as I come to the realization that my chosen path is yet again, something I have fabricated in order to make an acceptable living. 

So, who am I really? Well, the answer is there in my numbers. I’m a philosopher. This is the hand I have been dealt, and one that I most likely chose. I am driven to find the code to life, the design, the blue-print. I think this is because when we can see the map, we can see the way that lies ahead and then decide if we want to change our course, or stay on our present path.

Why would we want to know the way?  Perhaps it’s because inside we have a number of things that we need to do and visit, and we need to ensure that our current path will get us there. We are here to experience, experience. Without experience, we are nothing. We are energy that just is. Put our energy in the little container called a human being, and suddenly, we see the world from a very different perspective. This is quite a unique situation that we have put ourselves in. We can become to experience ourselves through the conscious mind.

I have been trying to put my new occupation in a nice box, with a nice bow, so it looks aesthetically pleasing. This is so that when people see the quality of the wrapping, and the perfect bow beautifully presented, they will know that inside is the real deal.

I’m getting fed up with making myself presentable, and now I know that I have set myself up with this. Yet again, I strip away another layer of fakeness, of something I thought was me, and now know that it wasn’t. I’m fed up with the need to conform, the fear of people judging me for not being good enough.

I know I need to deal with the belief that for your knowledge to be valued, you need the letters after your name. Who started off all of these educational establishments anyway? A hundred years ago, maybe more, I probably wouldn’t be worrying about getting that diploma in so and so. Well, thinking about it, I wouldn’t have had the chance to study so I shouldn’t really complain.

What I’m saying to myself is that I will be chasing an endless dream of achievement if I have to keep striving for the next qualification to tell me that I’m valid, I’m real, I’m good at what I do, I’m noticed, I’m authentic. I am not governed by anyone or any establishment. I am me, and if that isn’t good enough then ‘bog-off’.

That feels better.  So, I decide to award myself with a new kind of certificate. It is on really expensive paper, the most expensive you can get. It has beautiful gold writing in that old italic style, that makes you know that this it the words are all-wise, all-knowing and have authority. The words say “Louise, you are honored with the highest certification necessary for you to share your talents with the world. This most highly acclaimed presentation was given to you when you decided to become a human being. This is THE certification and the ONLY certification that you will ever require”. 

Hmm, so maybe I can make a start doing what I enjoy doing. So, with that out of the way, now what?